


push and pull (you and me)

by fengxins



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Adam is tolerable in this fic, Angry Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hospitalization, Kaoru throwing stones at Kojiro's bedroom window, M/M, Miya breaks his arm, Motorcycles, My First Work in This Fandom, Reconciliation, Reminiscing, Restaurant Owner Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, because it's 1am and he needs to kiss him or the world might end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 09:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30019824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fengxins/pseuds/fengxins
Summary: Somewhere in a sleepy seaside town in Okinawa off the coast of Japan, Kaoru is the father of a fifteen-year-old boy and the friend of a particular green-haired restaurant owner.—An AU loosely based on Gilmore Girls.
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, Past Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam - Relationship, Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom & Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	push and pull (you and me)

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this as a BTS fanfic (it's still out there, because I orphaned the fic) and I found the word file on my computer again, so I decided to go through it again and make it into a SK8 fanfic instead because Miya deserves two loving dads who will dote on him <3

“Coffee,” Kaoru demands, holding the mug out to Kojiro. The morning rush in Kojiro’s seaside restaurant Sialaluce had already died down by the time Kaoru had showed up with his mug in hand, impatiently tapping his feet as Kojiro tended to other customers first.

Kojiro throws a towel over his shoulder and sighs. “How many cups have you had today?”

“None,” Kaoru lies. Kojiro raises his eyebrow at the other man. “Plus two, but yours is better.”

“You’re a horrible role model for your son and the nation of Japan as a whole.”

“I’ll take it, as long as you give me some coffee.”

Kojiro takes the mug. Kaoru takes it as a victory.

They have this conversation almost every morning. Kaoru demands coffee and Kojiro pretends that he won’t give in after a couple minutes. That’s just how it works, Kaoru goes to Sialaluce every morning (and sometimes afternoon and sometimes evenings) and Kojiro provides him with the best food in Okinawa. This morning is no different.

Except, maybe, there is something a little different.

“Did you do something with your hair?” Kaoru asks, leaning with his elbows on the counter as Kojiro pours him his cup of coffee. He grabs another cup for Miya and starts pouring that, too. He, however, doesn’t respond to Kaoru’s question. “You gorilla, are you listening to me?”

Kojiro glances up, green hair falling over his eyes. “Hard not to.” He shoves the mugs towards Kaoru, “Here.”

“Your hair,” Kaoru says again.

“It’s fine,” Kojiro insists.

Kaoru narrows his eyes. “Yes, I know it looks fine but it’s different.”

“You think it looks fine?”

Kaoru straightens up, a little flustered. “Obviously,” he says, trying to regain his composure, “It always looks fine.” Kojiro looks at him, a smirk playing on his lips. Kaoru rolls his eyes. “Why do you take everything I say in the dirty way? Can’t your monkey brain respond normally for once?”

“Says the guy who thought that ‘fondue’ was a euphemism.” Kaoru frowns as Kojiro’s smirk only grows sillier. “Yeah, Higa-san told me.”

“Just for that, I’m not paying.”

“I’ll cry myself to sleep,” Kojiro deadpans as Kaoru walks back to the table where Miya is sitting.

“Done flirting?” Miya asks him.

“I have half a mind not to give this to you,” Kaoru says, holding out his mug of coffee.

“That would be a cruel and unusual way of parenting,” he says. “I think the Geneva Convention protects me from stuff like this.”

“Cruel and unusual has always been my style. You just haven’t noticed yet because it’s what you’re accustomed to.” Miya rolls his eyes and reaches his hand out. Kaoru gives him the mug. “You know, Kojiro says I shouldn’t give you any coffee. He says it’s bad for your health.”

“It is,” Kojiro calls over as he refills another customer’s coffee. “And you shouldn’t.”

“Too late,” Miya says, taking a sip. “Dad got me started too young. Couldn’t quit now, even if I tried.”

“Try,” Kojiro deadpans, coming to their table. He sets his coffee pot down on the edge of the table and whips out his order pad. “Know what you want?” He asks.

“Natto and a fried egg on rice with miso soup,” Miya says. “Two eggs.”

Kojiro nods, scribbles something down on his order pad. “And you, Kaoru? Fondue?”

“For breakfast? That’s a little much, even for me. How about some yaki udon.”

Kojiro looks up from the pad, stares at Kaoru for a long moment. “Really?”

“Of course not, you smooth-brained ape,” Kaoru says, “I’ll have the ozoni and green tea.”

“Shouldn’t have even asked,” Kojiro mutters as he writes Kaoru’s order down. He turns around and trudges back over to the kitchen, taking the coffee pot with him. Kaoru hopes it’s Takuya in the kitchen today, he makes one hell of an ozoni and great miso soup, too. He’s also Kojiro’s nephew.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Kaoru asks Miya.

“The usual,” Miya replies, “plus Korean Club after school with Reki and Langa. Should we meet here for a late dinner? I can come straight off the bus.”

“You won’t be home until dinner?” Kaoru asks, trying but failing to mask his disappointment. He couldn’t be more proud of his son, but ever since he started school at the prestigious Hentona High School their time together has gotten increasingly smaller. There are days where Kaoru almost misses when Miya was younger and they’d spend their hours off coloring and solving basic math problems together but then Kaoru remembers how Miya couldn’t properly walk or dress himself, and he’ll take conflicting schedules over changing diapers any time.

“Getting into Nagoya takes commitment,” Miya says, then shrugs. “Though I think I could do without being so committed to the violin.”

“I’m so proud of you, little one,” Kaoru says, ruffling his son's hair, “Though I could do without horrible violin practice all the time”

“Dad!” Miya whines.

“Quiet,” Kojiro says, coming up behind them with their food. “We have other customers.”

“His fault,” Miya mumbles as Kojiro slips a plate in front of him.

“Of course it is,” Kojiro says, holding Kaoru’s food hostage. “You’re a bad influence,” he says, eyes boring into Kaoru.

“Give me my ozoni,” Kaoru threatens. Kojiro tuts but sets the food down. “What’s this?” Kaoru asks, poking his chopsticks into the ceramic bowl.

“It’s vegetarian,” Kojiro deadpans, “the way you always eat it.”

“I eat my ozoni with meat,” Kaoru counters.

Kojiro sighs. “No you don’t. You won’t die. The rice cakes are there.”

“You’re the worst,” Kaoru huffs, pointing the spoon he picks up at Kojiro accusingly.

Kojiro shrugs. Kaoru hates him. “I’ll let Takuya know,” he replies.

“Thank you for breakfast,” Miya says, because he does have manners, most of which were taught to him by Kaoru himself, despite what Kojiro might think.

And then Kojiro does that thing he does which is most upsetting to Kaoru. He smiles. And it’s the kind of smile that shows off all his dimples.

“You’re welcome,” Kojiro says, even directing his smile towards Kaoru. “Let me know if you two need anything else.”

Kaoru and Kojiro have known each other a little over ten years. He still remembers the first time he walked in the door of Sialaluce. Kojiro had opened it just a few weeks before and Kaoru had just been promoted from office worker to head manager for his office’s wedding calligraphy project, so he had some extra cash with which he could treat himself. So he had decided to go to Sialaluce.

Back then Kaoru was a twenty-one-year-old with a five-year-old son trying to balance his work life with fatherhood, which proved much harder than he had wanted to admit. Kojiro was a fresh-out-of-culinary-school twenty-year-old who’d started his own business after the death of his father. That was what Kojiro had told him the first time Kaoru had showed up at the restaurant.

They started bickering the first day they met and they haven’t stopped since. Still, Kojiro has been one of the only constants in Kaoru’s life the past ten years. Miya’s gotten older and Kaoru’s seen partners come and go, but Kojiro has always been there to serve Kaoru his daily cup of coffee. Despite their bickering, Kojiro has proven himself to be a good friend.

The younger has always been there for Kaoru. Like that one time Miya had a nasty cold during the winter holidays and Kojiro had showed up at their doorstep with a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup. Or that one time Kaoru came down with the flu only four days before Miya’s seventh birthday party Kojiro took it upon himself to organize the party himself. So yes, they bicker all the time, but Kojiro is still one of Kaoru’s favorite people on the planet.

And when Kojiro smiles? Something tugs at Kaoru’s heartstrings.

—

Finished with their breakfast, Kaoru opens his mouth to ask Miya about the weather when a loud revving noise from outside catches his attention. Annoyed, he turns to look out the window. “Who’s that?” Kojiro asks from behind the counter, the corners of his mouth turned down in distaste.

“It’s papa!” Miya squeals when the motorcyclist takes off his helmet.

“Shindo?” Kaoru mumbles as Miya bounds out the door towards his biological father. He glances over towards Kojiro and slowly but surely pushes himself off the table to stand up. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he says.

“Sure,” Kaoru hears Kojiro say.

Shindo is hugging Miya, lifting him up and spinning him around before setting him down again. “My son! You’ve grown so much.”

“Yes, I’m almost as tall as you now.” He hears Miya reply. He’s smiling.

“You still have a long way to go,” Shindo laughs, smiling down at his son. He looks good in his leather jacket and tight pants. His hair’s tousled from the motorcycle helmet but at least he’s wearing one, which is different from when Kaoru first started dating him seventeen years ago. “Cherry,” he says, directing a smile towards Kaoru.

“Shindo,” Kaoru replies and walks over to give him a hug. “Impressive bike. Is it new?”

“Yeah. Bought myself a Yamaha couple months ago.” Shindo shrugs. “Figured I needed to visit you again.”

“Me?” Kaoru asks, baffled.

Shindo grins. “I know you’ve always wanted one, big boy.”

“When I was sixteen, maybe,” Kaoru answers, looking down at Shindo’s bike. He admits it looks tempting but it also looks like the thing a single father of a fifteen-year-old son shouldn’t drive. He looks back up at Shindo. “Are you staying in town?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“We will,” Miya butts in, “Right, dad?”

“Sure,” Kaoru gives in. He can’t say no to Miya. “We’ll pull out the air mattress.”

Shindo clicks his tongue. “Or,” he says, cocking his hip out, “you could give me your bed like the gentleman I just know you are.”

Kaoru blinks. Shindo grins and knocks Kaoru’s hip with his own. “We’ll see about that,” he says eventually, “I have to go back inside to pay for breakfast. I’ll be back out in a minute to drive you to school.” He tells Miya.

“Got it,” Miya nods.

“You better be here when I get back,” Kaoru directs at Shindo.

Shindo salutes him. “Sir, yes sir.” He grabs Miya’s hand. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, the two of us.”

Kaoru manages a small smile before turning on his heel and going back inside. Kojiro is still behind the counter, currently preoccupied by talking to another customer. When Kaoru glances over at their table it’s already been cleared. Kaoru waits until Kojiro is done talking before he steps up to the counter. “Hey.”

“Check?” Kojiro asks. Kaoru swears the man can read his mind.

He nods. “Yes please.”

“Thought you weren’t paying?” Kojiro teases. Kaoru flips him off. “That Adam?”

Kaoru produces a few bills from his wallet and nods. “He goes by Shindo now, though.”

“You’re into the bad type, huh?” Kojiro smirks as he accepts the bills Kaoru hands him. Kaoru ignores him. “Well, can’t say I expected Miya’s father to roll into town on a motorcycle.”

“He’s been here before,” Kaoru says.

Kojiro starts counting out Kaoru’s change. “Never said he hasn’t been here before.”

“I know that,” Kaoru snaps.

Kojiro stops counting the change and looks up. “What?” He asks, flat.

“Nothing,” Kaoru mutters, holding his palm out, “you have my change?”

Kojiro rolls his eyes and deposits the coins in Kaoru’s open palm. “Have a nice day,” he says, sarcastic.

“I intend to,” Kaoru raises his voice as he walks back towards the exit, “just so you know!”

“Enjoy your time with Adam.” Kojiro says.

“Yeah,” Kaoru sighs. “His name’s Shindo.” He repeats and then he’s out the door.

He pauses when he’s outside and sighs again. Despite all their play-fighting Kojiro and Kaoru really do have it out for each other sometimes. This is by far not the worst of it – one time Kaoru lost Miya and Kojiro had found him and made an angry phone call to Kaoru to let him know exactly what he thought of his parenting skills. Kojiro had taken it back after Kaoru had started crying when he came to drop Miya off – but these moments always leave Kaoru feeling a little uncomfortable.

He counts to five in his head, breathes in deeply, and heads back to Miya and Shindo. And sees Shindo putting a helmet on Miya’s head.

“Absolutely not,” Kaoru cuts in, startling the both of them.

“But dad–” Miya protests.

Kaoru cuts him off. “No,” he says, putting on his parenting voice, “this is _not_ going to happen.”

Shindo rolls his eyes but takes the helmet off Miya’s head nonetheless. “Get that stick out of your ass, Cherry. It’s only a short ride to your place. How much trouble can we even get into when the only other creatures we’ll see on the road are farm animals. What’s the population of this town again?” The sarcasm rolls off his tongue.

“We’re not going to my place, Miya has to go to school.” Kaoru says. He’s getting a little annoyed at Shindo.

Shindo looks at his feet. “Um.”

Kaoru raises an eyebrow. “What did you promise him?” He asks Shindo, a little exasperated.

“I have some shopping I need to do,” Shindo admits, “and I’d like some time to catch up with my son, so I thought I would take him with me for today.” Kaoru opens his mouth to respond but Shindo cuts him off. “Don’t be mad, Cherry. Every teenager in school needs a mental break day every so often, even teenagers like our son. And I swear I’ll be good. We’ll go to the mall, grab lunch, and we’ll be back before dinner. Promise.”

Kaoru breathes in. If he thinks about it, it really wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for Miya to take a day off and spend it with his biological father. They haven’t seen each other in a long time. He turns to check with Miya. “Do you want to do this? Take the day off school?”

“Yes,” Miya confirms and Kaoru is glad his son knows him well enough not to come up with silly excuses. Yet he’s still not so sure about the whole thing. Then Miya turns to look at him with his big hazel brown eyes and pouts, “Please?”

Kaoru purses his lips. “Fine,” he sighs. Shindo grins and high-fives Miya. “But take my car to the mall, yeah? I don’t want you to drive back with bags on that motorcycle.”

Shindo rolls his eyes. “Okay,” he says, “but I get to take Miya back home first.”

“That wasn’t a question?” Kaoru asks. Shindo steps forward and plants a kiss on Kaoru’s cheek.

He smiles. “It’s good to see you, Cherry. The years haven’t changed you.”

“Put on a helmet,” Kaoru tells Miya.

—

By the time Kaoru gets to Blossom Ink to start his workday he’s exhausted. He briefly considered going back to Sialaluce to get a cup of coffee to go but the icy goodbye after breakfast had refrained him from doing so. He knows Kojiro has his moods, because he has his own moods too, so he knows it’ll all be back to normal soon enough. Normally.

Between Kojiro, Shindo’s arrival, and Miya’s parent-induced delinquency, he’s in a bit of a mood by the time he makes it to work. Higa is at the desk, answering the phone in all his usual fervor. “Blossom Ink, Hiromi Higa speaking,” he says as Kaoru makes his way behind the front desk. “No we don’t have any availability in the week of the 15th.” There’s a pause. “Yes, I checked. No, I don’t need to check again. Yes, I…”

Kaoru tunes out pretty fast after that. He knows Higa has his own way of doing things and he really isn’t in the mood for another argument. Today has already been bad enough and he really doesn’t need to be on the receiving end of Higa’s icy glare.

The office is near-empty so Kaoru informs Higa that he’s going to head into the break room. The other nods and continues his argument with the customer over the phone. He saunters through the office and to get to the break room. “Good morning Kamata-san,” Kaoru greets, heading to the coffee pot. He grabs a mug and pours himself some coffee.

“Good morning,” Kamata replies, red hair bouncing as she turns around, “try one of my muffins?” She shoves a plastic container full of muffins Kaoru’s way. Kaoru doesn’t think about it and picks one up, taking a big bite. “They’re matcha flavored.”

“They’re delicious,” Kaoru says as he swallows down his bite. “You know who would like these?”

“Miya,” Kamata guesses, nodding over to a box on the counter. “Already got a box ready for him.”

“You’re my hero,” Kaoru says, and he means it. Kamata smiles.

“Something wrong?” Kamata asks after a while.

“Shindo’s back in town,” comes Kaoru’s reply.

Kamata is quiet for a while but then speaks up, “Really? Why is he here? Didn’t the last visit turn out pretty bad?” Kaoru raises an eyebrow. “I’m just stating facts,” Kamata defends herself, putting her hands up in mock surrender. She’s never liked Shindo.

“I don’t think he’s staying long anyway,” Kaoru mutters as Kamata moves over to the sink to wash her hands. Kaoru guesses she has an appointment soon.

Kamata hums. “Good. I don’t want to see him. Did I tell you I have an all day meeting with a client to design their business logo tomorrow? It's insane, really.”

“You’d do anything to avoid Shindo, huh?” Kaoru asks.

Kamata grabs a towel and dries her hands with it. “He gives me bad vibes, Kaoru.”

“Mhm,” Kaoru sips his coffee. “Everyone gives you bad vibes.”

“Speaking of,” Kamata says, completely ignoring Kaoru, “didn’t you say you were going to Sialaluce this morning? Where is your coffee, huh?”

“Why is that ‘speaking of’?” Kaoru asks.

Kamata raises an eyebrow at him and drops the towel onto the back of a chair. “I think you know why, mister.”

Kaoru chokes on his coffee. “It’s not like that!” He splutters, watching as Kamata tucks a strand of her red hair behind her ear. Wearing her white shirt, black pencil skirt, and bright red lipstick, Kaoru briefly thinks she could have a photoshoot right there and then.

“Just like how it’s not like that with me and Eiji,” Kamata states, feigning innocence as she picks up the papers she’d put on the table when Kaoru walked in.

Kaoru rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

“Thank you,” Kamata smiles.

“And I did go to Sialaluce this morning, for your information.”

Kamata tsks. “Then why are you standing here, drinking disgusting break room coffee instead of Joe's coffee?” She raises a pointed eyebrow.

“I had a late night,” Kaoru lies. Kamata levels him with a look. “And Kojiro and I got into a fight before I could get a to-go cup.” He mumbles the last part.

“There we go,” Kamata chirps, “was that so hard?” She digs through her papers, probably looking for a document meant for him. “What was your fight about?”

Kaoru breathes in. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Kamata repeats, pulling out a sheet of paper and handing it over. “Your last customer sent this in yesterday after you left. You and Joe fight a lot, but it’s rarely over nothing.”

“I don’t know,” Kaoru sighs as he accepts the paper Kamata hands him, recalling the events from earlier that morning. “Shindo met us at Sialaluce so we went out to say hello and then I went back inside to pay for the food. When I did, Kojiro was in some sort of mood, you know the mood that stupid monkey can get into, and we just… fought. It’s not a big deal.”

“Oh no, definitely not a big deal. You know, the man whose child you raised came to Sialaluce to say hello. After four years. Definitely not a big deal,” Kamata confirms, sarcasm evident in her tone.

“But why would Kojiro care about Shindo?” Kaoru wonders out loud.

Kamata sighs, pursing her lips and leaning against the counter. “Maybe because he cares about you, Kaoru.” She jabs a finger at him. “And you’re an idiot.” She taps his chest, rumpling his yukata a little bit.

Kaoru swats her hand away. “He was weird about it,” he admits.

“Told you,” Kamata grins.

One of their coworkers walks into the break room at that moment. “Hey Eiji,” Kaoru says smoothly, looking over Kamata’s shoulder.

Their coworker looks confused as Kamata turns around faster than lightning, a crimson blush decorating her cheeks. “Eiji-san, I–“ When Kamata realizes it’s not Eiji at the door but one of their coworkers, she turns back around to face Kaoru with an exaggerated frown. “Not funny,” she pouts, going back to her desk.

“Very funny,” Kaoru corrects with a little smile, watching Kamata retreat from the break room. He takes another sip from his coffee and allows himself to feel a little better.

—

Thankfully Kojiro’s day isn’t too crazy. Between clients and meetings he sneakily checks his phone hoping to get updates from Miya and Shindo. He gets a few – one of which is Miya in a beautiful grey suit only a little bit too big on his small frame that Shindo sends him with the caption ‘Prom?’, and another is a selfie Shindo took in which he is enjoying a churro with Miya. They’re cute and they make Kaoru smile but it also hurts to see them in a way he can’t quite describe. It’s a type of father-son bond he doesn’t really get to share with Miya.

Kaoru and Shindo have been a constant presence in each other’s lives, they went to school together, took the same piano lessons, and even went to the same movies. Their rebellious streaks brought them together and they’d started dating when they were both fourteen. And then Shindo had gotten someone else pregnant at sixteen.

They didn’t last long after the pregnancy. Kaoru doesn’t like to think about the drama, the screaming, the pain. He doesn’t like to think about how he felt back then, standing in the foyer of his parents’ house at sixteen years old holding baby Miya in his arms, after Shindo left him behind and Miya’s biological mother cut off all ties, wondering how the hell he was going to manage raising a child that wasn’t even his to begin with.

Ten months before he had his entire future planned out for him – college, traveling, and even a trust fund. But then his entire world became tethered to this one tiny person whom he didn't know and didn’t quite know what to do with either.

But he’d promised Shindo, and more importantly he’d promised Miya, that he would do the best he could. When Shindo left to go live in the United States, it was hard on him. But then he came back to Japan and then he got a job that required him to move around a lot. Ever since then, he’s been a sort-of-there presence in Miya’s, and indirectly, Kaoru’s, lives.

For years Kaoru had begged Shindo to come to Okinawa so he could see the life Kaoru and Miya had built for themselves, tucked away in their own little corner of the world. But for years he has come to Okinawa, spoiled Miya senseless, kissed Kaoru (or more), and then sped away just as quick as he arrived. Okinawa isn’t much more than a destination on Shindo’s GPS, a place to stop by on his way to somewhere else. For a long while that used to break Kaoru’s heart but he’s gotten used to it by now. They’re not who they were before anymore.

Shindo isn’t a bad father, far from. He talks to Miya on the phone at least once a week, depending on his schedule, and sometimes even more than just once a week. They even have a family group chat where Shindo often sends pictures of things he thinks Miya will like. Most of the time, Miya does like them. Shindo always comes by Okinawa at Christmas and always has something incredible to give to Miya from his travels around Japan and abroad.

And yes, maybe Kaoru has been pining for him this whole time. It’s hard for anyone to get over their first love. That’s what Kamata tells him when he’s feeling down about it. It’s frustrating to have his first love be such a constant yet unreachable presence in his life, to know that when he swings by on his way to somewhere else that he has him, but most of the time he doesn’t. It’s tough.

As Shindo’s gotten older, Kaoru’s been able to date a little bit more and test out the waters. But nothing’s really stuck, no one’s lived up to Shindo and the potential of giving Miya a family with the two parents he grew up with. It was a surprise to see Shindo at Sialaluce this morning and he’d let his feelings get a bit out of control when he talked to Kojiro. But he will get it back together, and soon. He has to, for his sake and for Miya’s.

His phone beeps and he looks down to see a new notification from Miya. It’s another photo, this time one of a Starbucks cup with his name written on it. Kaoru can make out Shindo in the background. _Not as good as Joe’s_ , the caption reads, _Can we go there tomorrow with papa?_

Kaoru frowns, staring at his phone. He doesn’t answer the text right away.

—

The call Kaoru was dreading all day comes right when he’s about to leave the office. He sits down on one of the chairs at the entrance and picks up the phone. “Hey Cherry,” Shindo’s voice sounds through the speaker.

“Hello,” Kaoru replies, “Are you at home?”

He hums in affirmative. “We are.”

“Do you want me to pick anything up?”

“No,” Shindo says, “But darling, we were watching TV and you’ll never guess what we saw.”

Kaoru purses his lips. “Another survival show?”

Shindo laughs. “Nothing as fantastic as that. There was an advertisement for a movie that Miya really wants to see and we have just enough time to get to Ginowan for the next screening.”

“You’re skipping dinner?” He asks after a few beats of silence.

Shindo breathes in. “If you don’t mind. I don’t want to step on your toes but I don’t think this is something you’re particularly keen on seeing.”

“I don’t know, Shindo,” Kaoru says, rubbing his temples, “what is it about?”

“Zombies,” he answers.

“Can’t exactly say that would be at the top of my list.”

Shindo hums. “We’ve had such a lovely day together, Cherry, and it’s so rare that I get to spend some alone time with him.”

“It’s fine,” Kaoru caves in. “Just make sure he has at least one vegetable with dinner, okay?”

“Of course,” Shindo laughs. It sounds like music to Kaoru’s ears. “Thank you so much, we’ll check in with you.”

Shindo hangs up before Kaoru has the chance to answer him so he shoots him a text warning him not to take the motorcycle. He pockets his phone and walks the few steps down to the elevator. When he arrives at his house his car is still sitting on the driveway, exactly where he’d left it that morning.

“Jesus Christ,” Kaoru mutters, pulling his phone from his back pocket. He tries calling Shindo but he doesn’t pick up. Heaving a sigh, he heads inside. He trudges over to the fridge and pulls it open only to find it empty so he goes back over to the counter to take a look at the take-out menus he has lying around the house. None of them look very appealing.

He just wants to go to Sialaluce and get some food from Kojiro. It shouldn’t be weird, right?

Kaoru sighs again. It’s definitely going to be weird.

But they’ve had weirdness before, and it’s nothing Kaoru can’t handle. It would also be a terrible business move to refuse to serve Kaoru so he grabs his wallet and his phone and heads out the door. It’s not exactly a long walk to Sialaluce, only around seven minutes and forty-three seconds. A soft smile graces Kaoru’s face as he recounts the time eight-year-old Miya had timed their walk to Sialaluce.

Once he reaches the restaurant he pushes open the door before he can lose his nerve. It’s pretty late for a monday night so there are only a select few tables left. Kojiro, wiping down the counter when Kaoru walks in, looks up with a blank expression. “What?” He asks.

“Is that any way to greet a paying customer?” Kaoru asks, trying to diffuse the tension in the air.

Kojiro blinks. Then he returns to the counter. Taking the silence as a good sign, Kaoru sits at the far end of the corner and grabs a menu, scanning it over even though he’s got the menu memorized in his head by now. He wants a pasta. Simple.

And then Kojiro sets down a mug in front of him and fills it up with coffee. Kaoru’s eyes well up with tears despite himself. “Thank you,” he manages.

Kojiro looks down at him, confused. “Kaoru, are you okay?” He asks.

Kaoru barks out a wet laugh, rubbing at his eyes and nearly knocking his glasses off his nose. “Maybe.”

“I know you love coffee, but you don’t typically get this emotional over it.”

Kaoru sniffles. Kojiro’s never been really good at the whole emotions thing. “It’s been a tough day,” he admits.

Kojiro hums. “Guess I didn’t particularly help with that.”

“Keep bringing me coffee,” Kaoru says, “and I’ll forgive you for just about anything.”

“Yeah, well,” Kojiro scratches his neck, “guess I owe you.”

“Then how about one of your specialty pastas?” Kaoru asks, taking full advantage.

Kojiro nods. “Got it. Cheddar?”

“Do you have Swiss?” Kaoru asks Kojiro, hopeful.

“I’ll send Sara next door to get some.” Kojiro says, scribbling on his order pad. “Sake?”

“Of course,” Kaoru smiles.

Kojiro hums, sticking the order pad in his back pocket. “Kaoru?”

“Yes?”

Kojiro fumbles with the towel slung over his shoulder. “Glad you stopped by.”

He turns back towards the counter before Kaoru has the chance to reply. “Me too,” Kaoru whispers to no one in particular.

—

By the time Kojiro brings him his strawberry awayukikan – excellently made, with a scoop of green tea ice cream on top – he’s the last one left in Sialaluce. Kojiro’s already cleaned most of the place up and it’s obviously been a long day for him. He already sent Sara home. “How’s the awayukikan?” Kojiro asks, rounding the counter and walking towards where Kaoru is seated at the corner.

“Wonderful,” Kaoru replies honestly, taking another bite of the sweet dessert, “as always.”

There’s a stretch of silence before Kojiro talks again. “Want to talk about it?” He asks.

“No,” Kaoru says shortly.

“Okay,” Kojiro shrugs, and turns around to walk back to the counter.

“It’s just…” Kaoru starts, looking at Kojiro’s retreating back. “He never calls.”

Kojiro turns around. “Adam?”

“Shindo,” Kaoru affirms, “He never calls or asks to come visit, when he bothers to come in the first place. We always meet for Christmas but it’s at his parents’ place, and sometimes he’ll take Miya for a weekend to someplace fun and exciting and that’s planned ahead. But every few years he decides to come here and disrupt our daily lives.”

“Sounds frustrating,” Kojiro offers.

Kaoru shrugs. “I’m glad he comes here, I am. That way Miya gets to have some sort of relationship with his real father.”

“You’re his real father too,” Kojiro quickly interrupts. There’s a small silence. “But?” Kojiro prods.

“It’s hard on me,” Kaoru says after a pause. He sighs. “It’s not fair of me to say so but it is. It’s hard on me.” He pokes his fork in the leftover green tea ice cream absentmindedly.

Kojiro hums. “Because you love him?”

Kaoru looks up, wide-eyed. He adjusts his glasses, “Of course I love him,” he says. Kojiro straightens up a little, not meeting Kaoru’s eyes. “But I’m not in love with him. Not anymore. That feeling faded away a long time ago. At least, I think so.” Kaoru looks back down at his plate. “But when he’s here, when he’s with Miya, I can’t help but look at the three of us and wonder what it would be like if we really were a family. What it would be like if I could give that to Miya.”

“You’re more than enough.” Kojiro says. “You know that right? You’re doing a great job at raising Miya, you’re doing more than my old man ever did for me,” Kojiro shrugs. “And he’s still family, just in a different way. There aren’t any right or wrong ways to be a family,” Kojiro pauses, thinking. “Well, there definitely are wrong ways to be a family, but I don’t think you’re doing it wrong.”

Kaoru chuckles, shoulders sagging a little. “Thanks.”

“And Miya has so many people who love him, right? This whole town, especially Reki and Langa, we all care about Miya. So maybe Shindo is far away, but we’re here.” Kojiro shrugs again, starting to wipe the counter again. He has a zero-tolerance for crumbs. “You know where to find me if you ever need something.”

“You called him Shindo,” Kaoru says, dumbfounded.

Kojiro looks up from the counter. “That’s his name, right?”

“It is. Thank you, Kojiro.”

“No problem,” he says, “Hey, I–”

Kaoru’s cellphone starts ringing, Carla’s voice reverberating around the near-empty restaurant to tell him there’s a call incoming. “No cellphones,” Kojiro reminds him, pointing to the sign he has hanging on the wall.

Kaoru raises an eyebrow but reaches for his cellphone nonetheless. “I’m the only person here,” he tries.

“No–”

“It’s Shindo,” Kaoru cuts Kojiro off with a furrowed brow. He picks up the phone despite Kojiro’s mumbled protesting. “Hello? Shindo?”

“Kaoru, hey,” he says, using his real name. Kaoru knows that when Shindo uses his real name it’s never good news. He hears a faint sound in the background.

“Shindo,” Kaoru says, heart hammering in his ears, “Are those sirens?”

“Kaoru darling, I need you to stay calm.”

“What?” Kaoru asks, standing up. His stool makes an awful screeching noise but his world is narrowed down to just Shindo’s voice in his ear. “What happened?”

“We had a tiny accident,” Shindo says over the sound of the sirens.

Kaoru tries to breathe steadily. He fails. “Where’s Miya?”

There’s silence on the line before Shindo speaks up again. “On his way to Tamaki Hospital.”

“In that ambulance?” Kaoru asks, heart in his throat. He wishes it were him in the ambulance and not Miya. He wishes the floor would open up and swallow him home. He wishes that he’d told them they couldn’t go to that stupid zombie movie. Anything for Miya to be at home with him and not in that ambulance. “What’s wrong?”

“His arm is probably broken,” comes Shindo’s reply, and Kaoru notes he’s keeping his voice level. He also hears someone else talking on the other end of the line. “Listen, they’re telling me I need to get in there. I fell off the bike, too. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Kaoru says, and Shindo disconnects.

Kaoru drops his phone on the counter and looks around Sialaluce. The tables are freshly washed and the floor is squeaky clean. The windows overlook Okinawa’s sleepy scenery. Miya should be here with him, not in some ambulance rushing towards a hospital in Ginowan.

He needs to get to Miya but he’s having trouble figuring out how to breathe.

“What is it?” Kojiro asks and Kaoru can’t even get himself to look at the green-haired man. It feels as if not a single part of his body can move, or feel. All he knows is that he needs to get to Miya but he doesn’t know how, not when all of his nightmares are coming true.

“I need my car,” Kaoru says, “I have to go home and get my car,” he nods to himself. He takes a step and wobbles only a little bit, which is impressive regarding the state of mind he’s in. He shuts his eyes and grabs onto the counter, trying to breathe through his nose. He absentmindedly notes that breathing shouldn’t be this hard.

“Kaoru,” Kojiro says. Kaoru opens his eyes and sees Kojiro moving around the counter to get to him. “Kaoru, you have to breathe.”

“I need to get my car,” Kaoru says again, as if that explains the situation.

“I’ll drive you,” Kojiro offers. “Where do you need to go?”

“It’s late, you just got off work,” Kaoru blabbers, not really comprehending what he’s saying, “I just need–”

“I’m at work,” Kojiro lets him know, “and you’re my customer. Just tell me where I need to take you.”

“Tamaki Hospital,” Kaoru says, “Ginowan.”

Kojiro’s eyes go wide for a second, “Tamaki?” He asks. Kaoru nods. Kojiro regains his composure. “Grab your stuff, let’s go,” he says, grabbing Kaoru’s arm.

“I’m scared,” Kaoru says, and his voice breaks.

“Me too,” Kojiro squeezes Kaoru’s arm. “Let’s go.”

—

Kaoru spends the entire ride wrenching his clammy hands together, trying to focus on the things Kojiro is saying to him even though he can’t hear him over the sound of his heart beating in his ears. Aside from a few texts Kaoru’s gotten from Shindo once they reached the hospital, he hasn’t heard from them. But he can’t blame Shindo because he explained in his last text that he was going in for a CAT scan because he was hurt, too. Though, not as bad as Miya was, apparently.

Kaoru bites down on his lower lip and wills himself not to cry in Kojiro’s car.

Meanwhile Kojiro drives like a maniac. In any other situation Kaoru would lecture him about his speed and how unsafe he’s being or even poke fun at his bad driving skills. And he knows that it’s not safe, the way Kojiro is driving, but he honestly couldn’t care less at this point. He needs to get to Miya and the faster, the better. It seems like Kojiro knows that, too, and is doing his best to get them there.

They make it to the hospital in forty-five minutes which feels like fifty minutes too long for Kaoru. The moment Kojiro parks the car Kaoru gets out and runs to the front desk, nearly tripping over his own yukata. “Sakurayashiki Kaoru,” he says.

The young nurse looks up. Her name tag reads Ichika. “Pardon?” She asks.

“My son, Chinen Miya. Where is he?”

The nurse sighs, turns to the computer and types something. “He’s getting some tests done. It’ll take another hour before we allow visitors.”

“An hour?” Kaoru croaks. He feels a hand at the small of his back and looks up to see Kojiro standing behind him, seeming a little winded from having to follow Kaoru.

The nurse nods. “An hour or so. You can wait for him over there,” she says, gesturing to the empty waiting room. “I’ll call for you when you can see him.”

“Can someone let him know that I’m here, at least?” Kaoru demands, voice quieter than usual. Kojiro starts rubbing his hand in small circles. It feels nice.

Ichika looks at him, then at Kojiro, then back at him. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Kaoru nods and turns to the waiting area. He sits down on one of the ugly grey couches and Kojiro settles right beside him. “Do you think she’s actually going to let Miya know I’m here?” Kaoru asks him.

“I’m not sure,” Kojiro says honestly. “Want me to follow her?”

Kaoru shakes his head, smiling a little despite himself. “No, you bother women too much as it is already.” He slumps down a little as Kojiro huffs beside him. “I just want to see Miya.”

“Can I get you anything?” Kojiro asks, sitting up a little straighter.

“Can you just stay here? With me?” Kaoru asks him, feeling his cheeks heat up a little. “Would you mind?”

Kojiro slumps back down. “This is easy,” he says.

Kaoru reaches for Kojiro’s hand without looking at him and rests his head on the younger’s shoulder. “It’s just a broken arm,” Kojiro reassures him, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know it feels like the end of the world, but it’s just a broken arm.”

Kaoru buries his head in Kojiro’s shoulder. Kojiro’s soft snoring fills the waiting room only a couple minutes later.

—

Shindo comes into the waiting room after twenty-five minutes.

He’s disheveled, his blue hair is a mess and there’s dirt and blood on his clothes. Kaoru doesn’t want to think about whose blood that is. When he sees Kaoru he squares his shoulders and stands up a little bit taller and Kaoru has to credit him that he doesn’t try to avoid the situation. He walks straight over to where Kaoru and Kojiro are sitting.

Kaoru nudges Kojiro’s side who wakes with a start. “I didn’t–” he says, then looks around the waiting room. “How long was I out for?” Kojiro sits up, eyes falling down to his lap where he’s still holding Kaoru’s hand. Kojiro slowly pulls his away, clearing his throat.

“Half an hour, maybe,” he informs him, retreating his hand to his own lap. He doesn’t allow himself to feel sad about not holding hands with Kojiro anymore. There are too many other things to worry about.

“Huh,” Kojiro says, stifling a yawn. “Good nap.”

“Kaoru,” Shindo says, standing a few feet away from them. He clears his throat. “It–”

“We need to talk,” Kaoru cuts her off, stern. He turns to Kojiro, “Do you mind?”

“If I hear anything, I’ll come get you.” Kojiro promises.

Kaoru breathes out slowly. “Thank you.” He turns back to Shindo. “Outside.”

For a moment it looks like he’s going to say no but then he sighs and looks down at the floor. “Sure,” he says, “lead the way.”

They walk through the waiting room in silence and Kaoru can feel Kojiro’s eyes boring into his back. The automatic doors slide open and then they’re outside, facing each other on the sidewalk of the parking lot, far enough from the entrance so Kaoru won’t feel guilty about making a scene.

“I’m sorry,” Shindo says before Kaoru can start. “I fucked up and I’m sorry.”

“You did,” he says, “I told you not to take the motorcycle.”

“You did.” Shindo admits in a small voice.

“And you didn’t have to go to Ginowan at all,” he continues.

Shindo makes himself smaller, “I know.”

“Miya’s in there, hurt, because you didn’t listen to me.” Kaoru tries to keep the anger out of his voice but it’s hard. He knows it was an accident but his son was hurt.

He nods. “Believe me, I know. I’m not a child anymore, Cherry, I don’t need a lecture from you. I already feel like the lowest creature on earth.”

“I don’t care how you feel, Shindo!” Kaoru spits. Shindo cringes a little and Kaoru takes a deep breath, getting his voice under control. “We made our choices. I chose to be Miya’s dad and to raise him and up until now I think I’ve done a pretty good job keeping him out of harm’s way. Keeping him in one piece.”

“He hasn’t lost any pieces,” Shindo counters meekly.

“That’s not the point, Shindo. What I say goes, period. I don’t care that the bike is more fun, it’s dangerous. I think that got pretty clear, yeah?”

“I know that now, Cherry. I just thought,” he pauses, “I thought I was being thoughtful. That we shouldn’t abandon you and then leave you without a car. I never anticipated that there’d be a drunk driver on the road and that we’d have to veer off of it to avoid a potentially worse accident.”

“I live in a seaside town in Okinawa,” Kaoru’s getting frustrated again, “everything is within walking distance. All I care is that my son is okay, and right now,” he wills his voice not to break and swallows thickly, “right now, he isn’t.”

Shindo starts crying instead. He exhales, Kaoru hasn’t seen Shindo cry since the day he broke up with him right before he left to the United States. “Shindo–”

“Just, I know, alright? You think I haven’t been beating myself up for the past two hours about this? He’s my son too, Cherry. I know I haven’t exactly been the father that I should’ve been, but he is my son too and I love him.”

“I know that,” he says immediately, “I know that you love Miya.”

“I want to have a relationship with him.” A tear trickles down his cheek. “Desperately.”

“I want you to have a relationship with Miya, too. But if having a relationship with him means that you disregard everything that I say, the rules I have set up in the past fifteen years…” Kaoru trails off.

“I won’t do it again,” he says, shaking his head. “I just wanted today to be special.”

Kaoru rubs his temples. “Well, he’ll never forget it.”

Shindo chuckles, wiping a stray tear on his cheek away. “You know, right? How much I respect you for the father you’ve been to Miya. The father I couldn’t be.” Kaoru frowns, he doesn’t know because he doesn’t talk to Shindo all that often. “It’s just,” Shindo continues, “I’ve never been one for rules.”

Kaoru can’t help but crack a small smile. “I know,” he says. His smile falters. “But these are my rules for my son. There aren’t that many and they’re not arbitrary, so when I say you shouldn’t go on the motor-cycle, you should listen. It’s not about you anymore, Shindo. It’s about our son.”

“What happened to you, hmm?” Shindo hums, “When did you get so wise?”

“About an hour after your plane took off,” he deadpans.

“Cherry,” Shindo says. He opens his mouth and then immediately closes it again, sighing in defeat. “I have to tell you something and I’m not sure you’ll like what I have to say.”

“Not like this night could get any worse,” Kaoru counters halfheartedly, bracing himself for whatever he’s about to say. He just hopes he won’t end up in some kind of custody battle that would require him to show up in court and go head-to-head with Shindo. He doesn’t think he has the emotional strength to go head-to-head with Shindo.

“I met someone,” is what he says instead.

Kaoru’s heart, surprisingly, doesn’t sink. “You did?” He asks, a little bewildered.

“Yes,” Shindo chuckles, “I was telling Miya about him over dinner. I wanted to tell you on your own.”

“Because you thought I’d freak out,” Kaoru interrupts.

“That was what I thought at first,” he admits, “but that was before I saw that you were on a date.”

Kaoru’s brows furrow. “Date?”

“The man you were holding hands with,” he offers.

“No!” he quickly denies, clearing his throat, “No, that’s not a date, that’s just… Kojiro. He’s Kojiro.”

“Sialaluce Kojiro? Joe?” Shindo asks. He nods. “Well, it sure looked like a date to me.”

Kaoru rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t. I got your call while I was having dinner.”

“And he came with you?” Shindo asks, curious.

“It wouldn’t have been safe for me to drive myself,” Kaoru sighs. He changes the subject, “Tell me about this person you met.”

Shindo straightens up a little, lightens up. He looks younger like that, a little less burdened. “His name is Tadashi,” he says, “He’s an actor.”

“Do I know him from anything?”

“Probably not,” he shakes his head, “He’s been in the Korea for a while doing odd jobs and looking for gigs.”

“So how did you meet him?” Kaoru asks, genuinely curious.

“Classified,” Shindo smiles, “We’ve been dating since just after New Year’s,” a very long time for him, “and he’s gotten a spot as a regular on a sitcom that films in Busan.”

“That’s great,” he offers, and he means it. Or, at least, he thinks he does.

Shindo’s smile falters. “Kaoru,” he says, “I’m moving to Busan.”

Kaoru waits for the feeling of his heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces, waits for the seriousness of Shindo moving in with his new lover to sink in, and the knowledge that he’s finally leaving him behind, but it doesn’t come. The hurt doesn’t come. He feels something else that he can’t quite place. Maybe relief.

“That’s great,” he says with a genuine smile, “You must like him a lot.”

“I love him,” Shindo says immediately, trying to hide his smile. “It’s so strange! I spent so long thinking,” He clears her throat, looking up at Kaoru and giving him a little shrug, “Well, I spent so long thinking about you and how I could fix myself to try and make things work between us. I didn’t know what to do with myself after last Christmas, when we…” He doesn’t need to say what happened between them, Kaoru’s thought about it, too. “And then how we parted. I kept thinking about what I did wrong, Cherry, and why I couldn’t make myself the right person for you. But it turns out that, maybe, I’m just not the right person for you, and you’re not the right person for me.”

“Maybe so,” he hums.

“He’s fantastic,” he continues, “and you’ll like him when you meet him, I can feel it.”

Kaoru shrugs one shoulder, “Busan is a lot closer than America.”

Shindo smiles again. “Do you think that’s a good thing?”

“You’re welcome here any time,” he informs him, “you know that.”

“I’ll leave the bike at home next time,” Shindo says, smile dropping off his face. “That is assuming there’s anything that can be done to save it.”

“Let’s change the subject,” Kaoru says, “because I’m going to be angry at you about this for a long time.”

“I deserve that,” he says meekly.

“You deserve to be happy,” he corrects Shindo. “I’m really glad you found someone.”

“Thank you, Cherry,” he says, and it looks like a weight drops off his shoulders. “That means a lot to me.”

“Let’s go back inside,” he says quietly.

“You go,” Shindo replies, “I need to call Tadashi.”

“Alright,” he nods, and heads back inside alone.

—

It’s another forty minutes before Kaoru can see Miya, seeing his arm all wrapped up in a cast when he walks into the room. “Oh sweetheart,” Kaoru says pitifully, taking a seat next to him on the uncomfortable hospital chair.

“It doesn’t hurt that bad,” Miya reassures him, leaning into his side. He looks up at him, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Kaoru wraps an arm around his son’s shoulders and squeezes gently, careful not to jostle his cast.

Miya sighs. “I shouldn’t have said I wanted to go see the movie,” he says, remorseful, “It wasn’t even that good of a movie.”

“It was about zombies, sweetheart, what did you expect?” Kaoru raises his eyebrows, amusement clear in his voice.

Miya laughs and looks down at his cast. “Are you mad at papa?” He asks quietly.

Kaoru nods. “I am but we’ve talked it through and I’ll get over it eventually.”

“Did he tell you about Tadashi?” Miya continues. Kaoru nods. He continues, “And Christmas?”

Kaoru furrows his brows. If Shindo thinks that he and Tadashi can keep Miya away from him over the holidays, they’ve got a big storm coming. “What about Christmas?” He asks Miya.

“Papa and Tadashi are going on vacation, so it’s just the two of us this year.”

Kaoru perks up. “No seeing your grandparents?” He asks, almost hopeful.

Miya nudges his side with his good arm. “Don’t get too excited, dad,” he says, smiling.

“You’re free to like your grandparents on either side, young man,” he mumbles, kissing the top of his head. “But I’m free to dislike whomever I choose.” Miya chuckles. “Hey, maybe we’ll plan something fun, too.”

“Please don’t make me go on a cruise,” he begs.

Kaoru puts a hand over his heart, pretending to be shocked. “I would never. I know you’re way too cool to be caught dead with your dad on a cruise.”

Miya rolls his eyes playfully. “You know that’s not it, dad. I’m just not sure I want to eat dinner with strangers every night and play Monopoly. You’re way too competitive and it wouldn’t be fun.” Miya pauses, looks around the room a little. “Did you come here alone?” He asks.

“Kojiro drove me,” he answers.

“Joe?” Miya frowns. “Why?”

“I was at the diner when your father called,” he explains, “I was a little too freaked out to drive so he offered me a ride.”

“Is he still here?”

Kaoru nods. “He’s in the waiting room. He wanted to make sure we had some time to chat privately. Do you want to see him?” He cocks his head to the side, carding a hand through Miya’s messy hair.

“No,” Miya shakes his head, “I want a couple more minutes with you.”

He rests his head on Kaoru’s shoulder and Kaoru hums, “Alright, then.”

They sit in silence for a while. Kaoru thinks Miya might have fallen asleep but then he speaks up again, voice so quiet he barely hears him. “I’m glad Joe was there,” he says.

“Why?” Kaoru frowns.

He can’t see his son but he can feel him shrug. “It’s good to have family around when something bad happens.”

Kaoru’s heart skips a beat. “Family?” He asks, voice small.

“Yeah, Joe’s family,” Kaoru can practically feel him smile, “so are Kamata-san and Higa-san, of course, and everyone else in town, but Joe’s special. He’s always there for us.”

Kaoru closes his eyes, picturing Kojiro in the waiting room, probably asleep. “He is.”

“And I really think that talking to him is good for you, dad.” Miya readjusts himself on Kaoru’s shoulder. Kaoru feels a wave of affection for his teenage son.

“How come?” He asks, voice soft.

Miya pulls away from his shoulder, angling his head so he can look his dad in the eyes. “You’re always going, dad. You’re either working, or doing things for the town, or taking care of me. You never take a break, always thinking about what you have to do next. Always thinking about the next step.”

“I’m–” Kaoru stammers.

“I’m not done talking,” Miya tuts. Kaoru smiles and inclines his head to signal that he can keep going. “Sometimes I feel like the only time you ever get to take a break is when you go to Sialaluce. You go there and chat with him, and it’s the only time you get to come out of your own head a little. But I think it’s important for him, too.” He pauses before he continues. “He doesn’t get out too much and you sort of force him to come out of his shell. He smiles a lot more when you’re around, from what I’ve heard from Reki and Langa.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Kaoru says, ducking his head a little. He wills himself not to blush.

“I think it’s true,” Miya continues, ignoring his dad, “and I also know that if something goes wrong, Joe will be there. He’s not the only one, of course. There’s Kamata-san and papa too, but I’d go to him first if you weren’t around or if you were in trouble. And,” he adds as an afterthought, “he can drive stick, so he’s really useful for a lot of things.”

Kaoru laughs a little. “I’m sure he’d be glad to hear that.”

“Hmm,” Miya hums, “maybe if it came from you.”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something here,” he playfully squints his eyes at Miya and taps his cute-as-a-button nose when he breaks out into a smile.

“Dad,” he protests, swatting his hand away with his good arm. “I know you’ve always wanted things to work out with papa. There was a long period of time where I wanted that, too.” Kaoru’s face falls. “But I don’t anymore. You don’t need to worry about that or me.”

“I’m always going to worry about your happiness, silly,” he says.

Miya nods. “That’s your job as my dad, obviously, but maybe on this one issue you can ease up on yourself? I wouldn’t mind if you started dating other people, dad. I know you’ve tried now and again, but your heart was never in it. So if there’s someone you’re interested in, I think you should go for it.”

Kaoru smiles, pressing a kiss onto the crown of his son’s head. He really deserves a pat on the back for raising such a wonderfully beautiful human being. “Thank you, Miya. I’ll think about it, okay?” He smiles at Miya and he nods back, “For now, though, let’s just focus on getting you all fixed up, okay?”

As if on cue, Miya’s doctor walks in, clipboard in hand. “You must be Miya’s father,” he says.

“Sakurayashiki Kaoru, I’m Miya’s legal guardian,” he introduces himself, bowing his head respectfully.

“Doctor Ito,” the doctor bows back. “It seems like your son’s arm is fractured in only one place. By no means a good thing, but it could have been a lot worse. He is to keep the cast on for about five weeks, and we’ll see where it goes from there.”

Kaoru turns to Miya with big eyes. “Miya, do you know what this means?” He asks, concern laced in his voice.

“What?” He narrows his eyes.

“No violin for five weeks,” Kaoru answers, solemn.

Miya laughs out loud and it sounds like heaven to Kaoru’s ears.

—

They leave after signing a couple forms nurse Ichika hands them, Kojiro in tow. Kaoru had invited Shindo to stay with them for the night but he’d informed them he’d called a cab that would take him all the way to the airport to fly back out to Busan. He explained he was staying with Tadashi that week and that they were going to go apartment hunting together. He’d kissed the both of them goodbye and promised to visit again soon. Shindo only looked a little surprise when Miya wrapped his arms around his neck in a parting hug.

The drive back home is quiet, Kaoru letting a sleepy Miya doze against him and Kojiro driving a lot calmer than he did on the way over there. Kaoru looks over at Kojiro sitting behind the steering wheel. It’s nearly midnight now and the man looks a little rough, most likely from lack of a comfortable bed to sleep in. There are bags under his eyes and his hair sticks up in a few different directions. Kaoru knows Kojiro is an early riser, that he needs to get the restaurant ready before morning rush, and that the later he goes to bed, the less sleep he’ll get before his 5:10 alarm.

Kojiro catches him staring. “What are you looking at?” He asks.

“You,” Kaoru replies, a little too honest.

Kojiro rolls his eyes. “Stop it. It’s distracting,” he glances over to Kaoru, “one of us is trying to drive.”

“You’re distracting,” Kaoru says and while it’s meant to sound like banter, like a silly, almost childish comeback, it comes out sounding a lot softer. He blushes, hoping Kojiro won’t be able to tell under the streetlights.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Kojiro replies, sounding unaffected, “too beautiful for words. Keep it in your pants, Kaoru. Or do I need to remind you your teenage son is sitting right next to you.”

Kaoru huffs and Miya stirs in his sleep. “Thank you,” he tells Kojiro.

“For what?” Kojiro asks in return.

Kaoru gestures a hand. “All of this. Coming with me. Staying. It means a lot.”

Kojiro turns to look at him briefly, then turns back to the road. “You’re welcome,” he says, no jokes, nothing to gloss it over, “any time. Although I hope this doesn’t happen again any time soon.”

“Me neither,” Kaoru hums, stroking Miya’s hair. He falls asleep not long after that.

—

When they get home it’s nearly one in the morning and Kaoru makes up Miya’s room, putting just about anything within an arm’s reach. Including himself. “This is too much,” Miya whines as Kaoru starts pulling the television from the living room, “and it’s one in the morning, dad. What am I even going to watch?”

“Infomercials,” he suggests, “you could finally get your dream body using that new miracle diet they’re always advertising on TV.”

“Which miracle diet?” He asks.

Kaoru shrugs. “No idea. But I’m sure at least one channel is going to advertise a miracle diet for the wonderfully low price of $49.99 a month.”

Miya laughs softly. “Dad, I just want to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep,” he tells him, grabbing a pillow and settling down in a chair next to his bed. Miya raises an eyebrow.

“And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” He asks.

“Going to sleep,” he answers matter-of-factly, fluffing up the pillow.

Miya rolls his eyes dramatically. “You don’t need to watch me, dad. I’m not a baby, I won’t roll over and suffocate or something like that.”

He shrugs. “I’m your dad, let me be worried.”

“Please,” he says, laying his head down on his pillow, “don’t be. You can go to bed, if you want to. I would’ve told you to go watch TV but if you do that now you’ll keep me up, too.”

Kaoru wants to say that he doesn’t want to leave, but then he hesitates. He thinks there’s something he needs to do. “Would you mind if I went out to run a small errand?”

“An errand?” Miya echoes, eyebrows raised. “The pharmacy isn’t going to open for another six hours, dad.”

He quickly shakes his head, “No, I know that. This is a different kind of errand. It won’t take long, but I’d have to leave the house in order to run the errand.”

Miya shrugs. “I’m not your parent. Go run your mysterious errand, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll let you know how it goes,” he says, standing up from the chair and turning towards the door.

“Please wait until the sun is up,” Miya says and then he’s out the door.

—

The walk to Sialaluce is never long but he’s never walked it with his heart pounding the way it is right now. It’s stupid and it’s the middle of the night and it’s probably all in Kaoru’s head but he’s made it this far already and he’s not going to turn back now.

 _But what if Kojiro’s asleep?_ Maybe he should turn back.

But he’s still walking towards Sialaluce because it’s a small seaside town in Okinawa and everything is within walking distance and if he doesn’t do it now he probably won’t ever do it. It’s only a couple minutes until he’s standing in front of the restaurant. He takes a deep breath and knocks once.

Nothing happens. He knocks again.

After waiting again Kaoru realizes that, _right_ , Kojiro is probably in his apartment upstairs, snoring away, and can’t hear him knocking. He sighs, shaking his head. He knows it’s far too late to be doing this. And he knows most people would take this momentary stupidity to head back home and wait until morning instead, but Kaoru doesn’t know how long his resolve will last and he just knows he has to do it now.

Now or never.

So, instead of heading back, he picks up a few small stones sitting on the sidewalk. He’s been inside Kojiro’s apartment a handful of times and knows which window is closest to his bed, so he steadies his aim and throws the first rock. And waits. Nothing.

He throws two more stones. Still nothing. He sighs loudly. He throws another stone and yells, “Nanjo Kojiro!”

Not a minute later the window opens and Kojiro sticks his head out. “What the hell?” He asks, wiping at his eyes. “Kaoru?” His hair is still sticking up in at least five different directions. It’s kind of endearing. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Yes,” Kaoru answers, “let me up.”

“Go home,” Kojiro says instead.

“No,” Kaoru still has a few rocks left in his hand and he drops them to the sidewalk. They clatter in different directions. “I have to talk to you.”

Another window in the street opens and an elderly lady sticks her head out. “Quiet down,” she says, “it’s late and we’re trying to sleep!”

Kaoru can see Kojiro roll his eyes, even in the dark. “Just go back to sleep, Nakamura-san.”

“Go to hell, Nanjo Kojiro!” Mrs. Nakamura says back, slamming her window shut.

“Please let me up,” Kaoru tries again, pouting.

Kojiro groans. “Fine. Stay there.”

“Okay,” Kaoru replies, moving towards the door.

“Do you ever listen?” Kojiro asks, exasperated. When he disappears back into his apartment, Kaoru moves even closer to the door. Only a few seconds later he sees Kojiro walking towards him, moving around the counter. It takes him another few seconds before he unlocks and opens it. “I thought I told you to stay–”

Kaoru cuts him off with a kiss. It’s short yet firm, like he’s pressing a stamp to Kojiro’s mouth. He pulls back. “Was that okay?”

Kojiro blinks. “Uh,” he nods, dumbfounded, “yeah, it was okay.” He pauses. “Why?”

“Why what?” Kaoru asks.

“Why’d you kiss me?” Kojiro asks him in return.

Kaoru pauses. “Because I think I’m in love with you.”

“Think?” Kojiro asks again. He nods and Kojiro laughs, shaking his head. “Going all out, I see.”

“It’s been you this whole time,” Kaoru continues, determined, “I don’t know why or how I didn’t see that, but I do now. It’s always been you.”

A soft smile etches onto Kojiro’s lips. “Took you long enough. I think even the kids figured it out before you.”

Kaoru groans. “Please don’t talk about the kids when I want to kiss you.”

“You want to kiss me?” Kojiro asks, surprised. He levels the younger with a look. And God, even though he’s sleep-rumpled, wearing only a pair of oversized flannel pants and a dirty t-shirt, Kojiro’s still the greatest thing Kaoru has ever seen.

“I do,” Kaoru says, “so shut up and kiss me, you feeble-minded gorilla.”

“Sure,” Kojiro hums, stepping in closer. He puts a hand on the small of Kaoru’s back, like he did at the hospital, and another one on his hip. Kaoru can feel Kojiro’s breath on his nose as he draws his face closer to Kauro’s.

And then they’re kissing.

It’s not just a peck this time around. It’s Kojiro slotting his lips over Kaoru’s, a warm, wet heat that Kaoru welcomes easily. It’s Kojiro gently squeezing his hip and angling his head to deepen the kiss. It’s Kaoru’s arms winding around Kojiro’s neck, fingers playing with the hairs in the nape of Kojiro’s neck. It’s the gentle thrum of butterflies awakening inside of Kaoru’s stomach as one kiss turns into two, then three, four, five.

Kaoru only pulls back when his lungs start protesting. The smile Kojiro gives him is brilliant. “You’re sure?” The younger asks again, just to confirm.

“Yes,” Kaoru smiles. And then he kisses Kojiro like he’s starving.

—

“So?” Miya asks the next morning at breakfast.

“So what?” Kaoru asks him, setting down the coffee and pastries he got at Sialaluce that morning. He tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach when he thinks of Kojiro.

“Your errand?” His son presses on.

Kaoru shrugs, trying to look nonchalant. “It went well.”

“That’s great,” Miya replies, seemingly dropping the matter. He sighs loudly, looking around the room.

“Fine,” Kaoru surrenders, rolling his eyes playfully. He sits down at the table and explains to Miya what happened the night before.

—

**One year and a half later**

Sialaluce is fully decorated for Christmas, soft yellows Christmas lights adorning the place from top to bottom. Kojiro sits down next to Kaoru at the counter, admiring his own handy work. “Hey,” Kaoru greets him with a kiss, “you did a good job with the lights.”

“Thanks,” Kojiro grins, “I almost broke my back trying to reach the top shelves behind the bar. Who even needs shelves that high?”

Kaoru shrugs. “You’re the one that built Sialaluce, not me.”

Kojiro rests his head atop Kaoru’s shoulder. “I only helped with the final stages of interior design,” he points out, “so why did they make the shelves so high?” He stifles a yawn.

Kaoru places two fingers underneath Kojiro’s chin and lifts his head up to meet him in a slow, gentle kiss. “So I could see your back muscles in their full glory as you hang up the Christmas lights.”

Kojiro grins into the kiss, “Weirdo.”

Kaoru shuts him up with more kisses.

When he was sixteen years old, Kaoru didn’t think his life would turn out the way it did. He thought he’d follow the path his parents had set out for him – University of Tokyo, a job at his father’s firm, a wife, kids, and a big house. When he met Shindo Kaoru immediately knew life as he knew it would change, but never in a million years would he have expected this.

He just wishes sixteen-year-old Kaoru could see thirty-one-year-old Kaoru and the life he’s built for both himself and Miya.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/fengxinie) & [Tumblr](https://fengqing.tumblr.com/)!


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